Reflections on a Box of Chocolates: Water Fills Its Measure

One of my favorite all time movies is “Forrest Gump”.

The movie is full of practical lessons that can be used as food for thought. One truth that stood out to me was simple but profound:

 The law of momentum deeply affects all of our lives.

 Isn't it funny how momentum seems to escalate in our lives (one way or the other)as a result of the small, everyday decisions that we make? The outcome of who we are at the end of our lives will likely be the result of pattens set in place by years of ordinary, seemingly insignificant choices. This can serve as a reminder that the mundane in life does have meaning for us, though we may be required to exercise a degree of faith in order to realize that meaning.

I have put a lot of thought into another concept that is seen at both the very beginning and very end of Forrest Gump.

 During both segments, a white  feather is shown  floating on the wind, leaving us to wonder if it has arrived at it’s destination merely as a result of chance, or if there is a source of order that has guided the feather along, giving the feather’s destination meaning and purpose. Can our lives here on earth be compared to this feather ? Is life random ? If not, do the forces that act on our lives limit our ability to navigate our own course?

I have been taught that our lives have great purpose. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe that we each have an essence, or spirit, that contains much of the knowledge, intelligence, wisdom, experience, and most importantly, love that we have accumulated over the course of our existence. This essence is eternal in nature, and cannot be destroyed or diminished by our physical death. I believe that God is the Father of our spirits, and that He is a personage of infinite love, compassion, and holiness. I believe that we lived in His presence and were taught by Him before we came here to earth. I believe that our lives have a purpose here on earth, and that our actions here will have a great influence on where we will find ourselves in the next life. The knowledge of where we came from, why we are here, and where we are going has added perspective to the everyday choices that I make about how I spend my time, how I try to treat others, and how I set priorities.

I would like to use this generalized plan as a backdrop to reflect on some questions I have developed over the course of time in trying to find and understand my place in the grand scheme of things. I should state that the questions I ask and the conclusions I have come up with reflect my own thoughts and feelings, and should not be confused with the basic doctrines of my church. For information on this, I recommend going to www.mormon.org. This is a wonderful website geared at answering basic questions about the “Mormon” faith.

As I have come to terms with the fact that there is a God that cares about our lives, I have wondered about what this means for how we should view ourselves in relation to the world around us.

Specifically, I have wondered about how much we should be proactively engaged in the direction that our lives take.

On one hand, I see us as the feather in the wind at the close of Forrest Gump.

We are, with little effort on our own, guided by the powers of the universe to the people and situations we need for growth and service. God is an all knowing, all powerful being that is in control of the universe. His will is destined to be carried out regardless of the intentions of mankind…hence we have holy scriptures filled with His prophecies about the unfolding of our history here on earth. God not only has a generalized plan for all of mankind, but a specific plan for each of our individual lives. Our purpose in life is to “uncover ” that plan and carry it out. We have each been given special talents to help us carry out our specific mission on earth, which largely involve our ability to reach out to and help others to successfully complete their own missions. We have been placed in the circumstances and with the people that the Lord desires us to work with.

With these thoughts in mind, I have wondered about the wisdom of taking a proactive, goal oriented approach to life. Such a course would run counter to the natural flow of the universe. God’s plan is unfolding exactly as it should be, and if we accept life as it is given to us, we will always be in the right place at the right time…without the hindrance of an agenda. Jesus seemed to be alluding to this sort of existence when He taught that we should “take no thought for the morrow." This sort of life reflects trust in God, meaningful prayer with a desire to seek God’s will and not our own, acceptance of His will, obedience to His commandments, and a soft touch that allows us to be sensitive to His Spirit, which often prompts us to help certain people at certain times and gives us specific, daily direction. This Spirit operates in the capacity of a ” still small voice ” that is more often felt than heard. Strong emotions and distracted lifestyles can drown this voice out, so there is a certain need for reverence and sobriety in everyday life…no small task!

Certainly, success in this type of life would involve a peaceful, serene existence that is similar in it’s nature to certain aspects of eastern philosophy. Life is in a constant state of disintegration, so any attachments to it will ultimately result in a feeling of disappointment and frustration. Thus, we move through life with a certian degree of detachment to the world around us…not too high, not too low.

This lifestyle is one that I have tried in large measure to live up to for the past five years, using my agency to obtain God’s will and carry it out, but using very little creativity or developing very little opinionated thought.
I have recently wondered about a different approach that seems to be the polar opposite of the somewhat peaceful, reactive lifestyle I have described.

The second choice of lifestyle is one that by nature seems to be much more engaging than the first. It assumes that while God has chosen some of the highlights in our life needed for growth opportunities, He has left much of the details up to us, like an art teacher who lays out scissors, construction paper, and crayons and tells the class to go to work on a Christmas card for mom and dad. This mindset centers in a proactive, goal oriented approach to life that puts one in the position of being a “mover and a shaker.” The defining scripture for this finds the Savior counseling us to be ” anxiously engaged in a good cause” and that we should accomplish “much good of our own free will and choice”. He tells us that a person that must be commanded in all things is ” slothful, and not a wise servant."

The fundamental nature of this mindset is one of not waiting for commandments, but taking action routinely as we develop and carry out a goal oriented plan for our lives that involves weekly or daily accountability and somewhat aggressive action.


The upside to this paradigm is a feeling of energy and control over our lives. We are connected to the world around us, and are effective in our relationships with others. We feel deeply that we are making the fullest use of our freedom to choose, that we are expressing our innermost selves, and that we are ” happening to life ” and not vice versa. We have a vested interest in all of our duties, and a deep feeling of satisfaction from using the creative forces within us. We are “partners with God, sharing the decision-making duties in our lives. Instead of a feather floating in the wind, we are captains of a ship, charting and steering our own course, and receiving occasional direction from a very good weather forecaster.

The problem that I have developed in testing the waters of these two mindsets is the seeming impossibility of doing both effectively at the same time. I have found that the more goal oriented I become, the more I am likely to be distracted by my own thoughts and emotions. This creates a sort of spiritual ” static ” that makes subtle promptings from the Lord more difficult to feel and distinguish. If a specific plan is created, there is a likelihood of missing the forest for the trees, focusing more on predetermined results than on the minute to minute needs that the Lord may need my help on. Also, as emotions become deeply involved in the course of my life, I find myself less likely to be obedient to the Lord if a drastic course alteration is needed….I am more tempted to do my own will.

On the other side of the spectrum, if I take a feather in the wind approach and trust that the natural course of unfolding events is God’s will, I am much more in tune with the daily whisperings of God’s spirit, but much less energized and invested in the work of my life.

As a personality that has been drawn to the arts, the lack of creativity in this lifestyle is sometimes a painful gift to offer at the alter.

Inner peace has it’s price.

I guess the real question I have struggled with in pondering the pros and cons of these two lifestyles is the question of self expression.

 The Savior said ” I do nothing of myself, but as my father hath taught me.” He personifies the virtue of obedience. If we are to emulate Jesus, who did only the will of Heavenly Father, where does our own thought process and creativity come into play as we live out our lives ? ”

 Whosoever would save his life will lose it, but whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall save it.”.

Are these virtues to be offered on the alter as willing sacrifices to our Heavenly Father as a means of turning our lives and wills over to Him ?

Or are we encouraged to use our creative powers to engage our minds and emotions and chart our own course through life, determining the specifics ourselves ?

Is spiritual victory found in surrendering or conquering ?

It is likely the answer will be different for each person, as we came to earth with our own disposition, personality, and set of lessons to learn.

 Thinking through this paradox has taught me that our lives cannot be compared to one another using our own judgement. God’s design for us on earth seems to be more centered in growth opportunities than in final justice. We are all works in progress, and one way or another, just like the feather floating in the breeze, God’s wind will carry us to the place that is right for who we have chosen to become.

As the old saying goes….

” Water fills it’s measure….. so shall I.”

The Next Row of Grass

Yesterday, a discussion in our Sunday school class raised some thought-provoking questions that seemed worthy of posting.

The topic was simple enough at face value:

 What does it mean to “mourn with those that mourn?”

 The context was derived from the 18th chapter of Mosiah in the Book of Mormon.

And it came to pass after many days there were a goodly number gathered together at the place of Mormon, to hear the words of Alma. Yea, all were gathered together that believed on his word, to hear him. And he did teach them, and did preach unto them repentance, and redemption, and faith on the Lord. And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life— Now I say unto you, if this be the desire of your hearts, what have you against being baptized in the name of the Lord, as a witness before him that ye have entered into a covenant with him, that ye will serve him and keep his commandments, that he may pour out his Spirit more abundantly upon you?

This sermon highlighted several important elements of the gospel as seen from the LDS perspective:

 1. We feel joy when we are filled with spirit of the Lord

 2. Being filled with the spirit of the Lord naturally sparks within us a desire to serve our fellow brothers and sisters.

3. We should not be hesitant to take covenants upon ourselves that will solidify our commitment to endure in faith until the end of our mortal probation.

 In this vein, “mourning with those that mourn” is a simple concept.

 It means that, whenever the situation merits, we abandon selfish interests and make ourselves available to comfort those who are going through hard times. We become a friend to those who have heads that hang down. We serve those who are in the midst of trials.

 But…..there is always another principle somewhere to balance things out and keep us on the road of temperance.

 So here is my question:

  Is there a point in our service to others where we can cross the line and hinder the Lord’s work?

In order to understand this question from the perspective of the LDS faith, there are two important terms to consider:

 The first term is the Priesthood, or the power of God delegated to man. The Doctrine and Covenants outline the requirements for using this power:

That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.

The priesthood, in a nutshell, means furthering the Lords causes in the way He would have us do it, based on principles of righteousness. An important element of this is learning to follow the Lord’s will (and not our own) in ministering to others.

 The second term pertinent to this topic is Priestcraft. Priestcraft, in a nutshell, describes mankind’s attempt to abuse or imitate the priesthood for selfish interests. From Dallin H. Oaks:

"The Book of Mormon illustrates this same principle in its definition of priestcraft, the sin committed by those who preach the gospel to gain personal advantage rather than to further the work of the Lord: “Priestcrafts are that men preach and set themselves up for a light unto the world, that they may get gain and praise of the world; but they seek not the welfare of Zion.” (2 Ne. 26:29; see also Alma 1:16.) Priestcraft is not a sin that is committed solely on the basis of our desires because it involves acts. Those acts become sinful only when they are done with the wrong desire, to get gain or praise. The sin is in the desire, not in the act."

Priestcraft is committed when we, for our own selfish desires, set ourselves up as a light for others to follow. Our desire is not to lead people to Christ, but is to establish our own following in which we “undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness.”

 The difference between the two mindsets is pretty obvious, and explains a quirky wall-hanging I once observed in a craft shop that said:

  Rules of the House 

1.  No whining
2.  No shining

When I read the sign, I immediately thought of Matthew 5:14

Ye are the alight of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

What, then, does “no shining” mean?

 The scriptures answer the question:

Take heed that ye do not your balms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

Even if we are not seeking to promote our own interests, the concept of Priesthood vs. Priestcraft still presents us with a very real dilemma. Where does our will and our heart fit into the plan of salvation? If we are sent to earth to do God’s will (and not our own), what does this scripture, found in the Doctrine and Covenants, mean:

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.

Obviously, there is a middle ground in our ministry that must be reached.

 On one hand, we don’t want to become so zealous in our service that we take attention away from Christ and His purposes. (I know….even as I write it, I ask myself: is that possible?)

 On the other hand, we don’t want to become so businesslike and impersonal in our ministry that others can’t feel our love. There is nothing more obnoxious than going through a serious trial and having a person devoid of empathy show up to “do their duty.”

 Here is where it gets kind of complicated.

 During the yesterday’s discussion, I brought up an instance where Katherine and I had been helped by a member of our ward during a particularly difficult time, which I share with Katherine’s permission:

 In September of 2007, Katherine and I went through a miscarriage. We announced the pregnancy early, and, as a result, the miscarriage became common knowledge throughout the ward quickly. Having seen this happen to numerous other people, we were both amazed at how painful the experience turned out to be.

 Several family members immediately reached out to help.

 Then, the Sunday after the miscarriage, a member of our ward approached Katherine and spoke with her after sacrament meeting. This ward member did not know us well, but had experienced several miscarriages of her own. She did not try to make everything better by minimizing Katherine's pain. She did not say” call me if you need anything” Sitting there in that pew, she simply held Katherine’s and wept with her.

 These tears of empathy were the balm of Gilead we needed to get through that day.

 I shared this story as part of the Sunday school discussion to highlight an important aspect of mourning with those that mourn.

 On one hand, we are all capable of helping others in times of trial. In some instances (and I do think there are times when it is not appropriate to get too close), we can reach out in a behind-the-scenes way.

 We can bring dinner, cut the grass, or help out in countless other ways.

 In other instances, we may find ourselves, as did the sister mentioned above, in the role of a specialist.

 Having endured similar problems herself, this sister was able to reach a depth of empathy that was simply not possible for those who have not so suffered. Her response was natural and free-flowing, and was based on “love unfeigned”.

 The spirit of what happened during their brief exchange addresses an important part of overcoming obstacles:

 When hardships come, I think that many of us have a tendency to curl up in a ball.

 It’s kind of a natural spiritual reaction…..like the physical reaction of getting punched in the stomach.

 In those times, it can be difficult to feel the spirit.

 Curling up in a ball is the spiritual equivalent of hardening the heart. Since the Lord’s spirit will not force itself upon us, we have to be actively engaged in the process of our own healing. The first step on this road is to simply soften our hearts.

 I can tell you from this experience that empathy from another person goes a long way in facilitating this process.

To be sure, the Lord does the final act of healing in a way that we cannot hope to imitate, but I like to think we each have an important role in helping the Lord to accomplish his work.

 For example, I once went through a serious bout of clinical depression. At the time, I did not know whether or not I would make it through the darkness. At a critical moment, one of my sisters visited me and told me that if I would just hang on and keep fighting, God would use this experience to empower me to help others.

Her words proved prophetic.

 As a result of that experience, I am able to pick up depression very quickly in people who are suffering. I am able to empathize with their particular struggles on a level that would have been impossible otherwise, and my response to their suffering is intensely personal and completely natural. When I am conversing with someone who is struggling with depression, the word “duty’ doesn’t come to mind. A more appropriate description would be “mission”, because attraction toward that type of suffering is like a magnetic force for those who have been through it.

 After I shard this particular story with the class, a brother sitting a few rows up raised his hand and said he had been thinking a lot about this point of view.

His thinking had led him to the conclusion that, since Christ had suffered all things and could empathize with us on a very deep level, our job should be to simply keep the spirit with us, show up, and sort of “get out of the way” of the healing process.

In the case of those who are called to minister in leadership positions (where the level of experience cannot possibly meet the needs of several hundred members), I am in complete agreement. Many men and women who have served in such a capacity report that they have been able to feel sympathies far beyond their own natural abilities while counciling with members who have serious problems. This ability to empathize is a gift of the spirit that comes with the mantle of the calling.  

When it comes to our everyday efforts to minister to each other,  I also agree that we should keep the spirit of the Lord with us as much as possible. Yet, I was troubled by the implications of this particular take on service, and left the class wondering about the role of my own sympathies and feelings in ministering to others.

 In reaching out to others as “specialists” who have endured particular hardships, are we, in a weird sort of way, committing a form of priestcraft?

 Are we overstepping our bounds and placing ourselves between the Lord and his work?

 Are we drawing attention to ourselves rather than pointing the way to Christ?

 If so, where does that line of thinking stop?

 Am I allowed to have a personal bond with my children, or is that a form of priestcraft?

 Is my love for my wife idol worship?

 These questions may seem silly, but the implications of this well-meaning epilogue to my Sunday school story were disturbing to me.

 When we got home from church, my daughter, Kendall, put in a random DVD that proved to be a good fit for my dilemma. The DVD was a compilation of episodes from a popular TV series that portrayed the exploits of ministering angels in everyday situations. In this particular segment, the ministering angel had been commissioned by a superior officer to perform a certain line of duties for a family under the guise of a nanny. In doing so, the ministering angel uncovered a serious problem in the life of a child. The problem so touched her heart that she stepped in and in tried to bring the dilemma to resolution. In doing so, her efforts served to inflame the situation and actually made it worse. The ministering angel was sharply rebuked - both  by the boy's father and by her commanding superior in the heavenly realm. In a moment of anguish, she fell to her knees, and, through her sobs, asked this important question:

 “God, why did you give me a heart if you didn’t want me to use it?”

 The ministering angel then frankly admitted her efforts had created a mess, and asked God to forgive her and, more importantly, to help the little boy.

 The situation was resolved in a way that made two things clear:

 1. God was the one who actually solved the problem by softening hearts and creating circumstances conducive to healing

 2. The ministering angel, despite creating a seemingly chaotic mess, had inadvertently demonstrated the measure of  love that was needed to activate the forces of heaven on behalf of this little boy.

 Though this episode was a bit cheesy, I wiped away a tear at the end of the segment. As a person who is cursed with a strong will, I have long struggled to understand my place in God’s universe. I have enviously watched others who, with seemingly no effort, go with the flow of life without the impairment of strong opinion or self-will. I think there must be a certain amount of selflessness and spiritual maturity in such people that I may never realize. Though I frequent the realm of the spiritually remedial, I am thankful that there is a merciful God. He is patient beyond measure with my particular disposition and weaknesses. More often than not, I end up being that obnoxious kid who always wants to have his hand in something….who thinks his plastic toy lawn mower actually cuts a part of the lawn.

 Deep inside, I know I am not the one who does the mowing, but I like to think that I am somehow helping just the same.

 For me, there is no worse hell than being made to feel useless, and I will admit to feeling a lot of that over the past few years.

 Perhaps the Lord can make use of all of us, no matter our disposition.

 To be sure, we all have a slightly different angle on the gospel.

Some of us approach it from an analytical standpoint. If you think about it, we live in a time where scientific data observations prove what the Lord has known all along:  that living gospel principles makes good sense.

No need for warm-fuzzies or touchy-feelies.....let's just move forward.

I respect that paradigm.

At the same time, I acknowledge others who approach the gospel from a different mindset.

For me, facts and common sense as a stand-alone have a sterility that doesn't quite feel right. I came to the Throne seeking something more than just a sensible path through the eternities.

My angle is summed up perfectly in the question:

 “Why did you give me a heart if you didn’t want me to use it?”

Sometimes I get the feeling that some of our more practical brothers and sisters see involvement of the heart or emotions in the line of duty as a sign of weakness or spiritual immaturity.

I worried about that all the way home.

Thanks, Kendall,  for cutting on the TV when we got home from church.

I still have a few questions about how it all  fits together, but I also have a little more understanding about how the Lord weighs in on matters of the heart. The struggles of a fictional ministering angel led me to seek out a passage that might just help me move on to the next row of grassy reality:

"And now abideth faith,

hope,

charity,

these three;

but the greatest of these is charity."

Safety Inspection Case # 22445619

Recently, I decided to take on a part-time job as a safety inspector to bring in some extra revenue. After enduring several months of intense testing and training, I was officially certified as a safety and security agent and put to work. Thankfully, my first inspection assignment was close to home. Several confidential reports gathered by our intelligence agents indicated that a security company was operating in the Williamsburg area without the proper credentials or licensing. On Sunday, January 22, 2012, I popped in for a visit. This is what I found: The security company, whose name must be kept confidential until litigation has proved professional negligence, was a temporary installation set up to protect a top-secret peanut-butter experiment.

When I arrived at the designated site, I was greeted by the owner of the security outfit.

The owner demanded to see my credentials, and then whisked away my application for an entry pass.

To the untrained eye, everything looked like it was in order. There was a pre-approved guest list on hand to allow the guard easy access to those who were allowed to enter the test site.

A bell was provided so that guests could alert the guard to their presence.

The proper signs and security set-ups were in place.

Closer scrutiny of the premises revealed that there was an unauthorized imposter taking part in the peanut butter experiment (no doubt collecting data for foreign intelligence).

Another imposter was located trying to photograph classified information.

Several other security infractions were noted: Unattended boiling water: Fine of $10,000 dollars and up to 1 month incarceration.

Dirty knife in sink: Fine of $50,000 and up to one year hard labor

No ID number listed for imposter who was trying to photograph top-secret documents: $100,000 fine

As I was about to write the appropriate citations and haul the security owner out of the kitchen in cuffs, she began to search frantically through the files of security protocols to prove that she was not in error.

Through crafty words and expert knowledge of protocol loopholes, this diabolical criminal mastermind was able to confound all of my charges and skip off to the living room to watch TV. Since this time, more information has been gathered that will put these shady characters away in hard labor camps to pay for their crimes. Anyone having information as to their whereabouts can contact me in Matthew's bedroom....er...I mean, my office, for a hefty reward. All three subjects are known to be armed and extremely dangerous, so please use caution when attempting to apprehend them.

Happy 91st Birthday, Virginia!

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Lazarus and the Christmas Tree Lights: No Squinting Required

Spoiler alert:

While this piece was written with the intent of providing a bit of inspiration to all of my Facebook friends, it touches on the Christmas season from the perspective of those who are suffering, sad, or alone. I have always believed that God has a particular affinity for the downtrodden, but I also believe that those with “cups that runneth over” are looked after with the same grace and mercy as those who are facing the holidays behind forced smiles and feigned laughter.

Whichever side of the fence our lot falls on this year, we can be sure that we have not escaped the eyes of our maker.



A couple of nights ago, Katherine and I were having a conversation after dinner. Unfortunately, we had gotten some bad news concerning a family member. Katherine was visibly distraught as she told me the details of what had happened. With a trembling lip ( and what seemed to be a hint of guilt), she remarked that, try as she might, she just couldn’t get into the Christmas spirit this year.

Her remarks got me to thinking about the holiday season in general, and, in particular, what exactly it means to have the Christmas spirit.

As I scanned through the archives of my own Christmases past, I had to admit that I have become accustomed to cultivating a special spirit during the month of December that is, for whatever reason, not as discernible during other times of celebration. There is a magic of sorts that seems to lay hold of us as we carouse the shopping districts and breathe in the aroma of freshly cut Fraser firs decorated with decades of memorable keepsakes. We feel a profound sense of well-being as we watch and re-watch old holiday movies that have become family traditions dating back to our own childhood. Perhaps the magic of Christmas can best be summed up for many of us in the spirit of these old TV segments. They have a way (if only for a moment) of making us feel like a kid again.

Isn't that what Christmas is about?

But what do we do if some of that childlike magic is missing from our Christmas season?

What if, despite our best efforts at keeping a positive attitude, those trusty old Christmas classics fall a little short in turning the portkey that opens the door to childlike wonder?

What if the lights don’t seem to sparkle quite as brightly as they did when we were squinting with our ten-year-old eyes in front of the Christmas tree?

And what if our trip to the department store in search of Lindor chocolates and other Christmas goodies feels a little bit stale and hollowed out?

If my memory serves me correctly, there have been a few holiday seasons in my life where that special spark of Christmas magic wouldn’t come.

For instance, there was the year my step-dad passed away.

Then there was the year my Grandma passed after a prolonged illness.

The terrorist attacks on New York and Washington D.C. took some of the luster out of the 2001 holiday celebration.

And there have, as the scriptures predicted, been “wars and rumors of wars”, with many of our nation’s servicemen and women leaving family members back in the States to gaze longingly at pictures of dads, moms, sons, and daughters who would not be joining the rest of the family in front of the Christmas tree.

Even in the midst of these and other challenges, many of us are able to overcome the forces of darkness and settle snugly into our blanket of holiday cheer. There are a few instances, however, when (try as we might), we are swallowed up in the enormity of circumstances beyond our control.

As I have thought about a few of the stumbling blocks we might face while trying to get in tune with the Christmas spirit, I have come to the conclusion that it is very easy to confuse our temporal "creature comforts" with the actual spirituality that attends the holiday season. Since, in many instances, the two events (temporal comforts and spirituality) converge in perfect rhythm with our scheduled activities, we can sometimes find ourselves feeling forgotten or lacking in faith if that magical chemistry won’t come together as we think it should.

We might even feel a bit guilty if our holiday smile isn't completely genuine.

For our family, the days leading up to this year's celebration of Jesus' birth have been replete with opposition and turmoil. We have witnessed suffering among friends and family on a scale we have never experienced. As a result, we have learned that if we truly love one another, it is impossible to avoid being deeply affected by what we see going on in the world around us. I make this statement acknowledging that my awareness of suffering has been quickened this year because of its close proximity to those with whom I am well-acquainted, and that many of the more "magical" Christmas seasons I have enjoyed have been spent in blissful ignorance of the suffering going on in the lives of those I didn't know as well. Regardless of the semantics of experiencing joy during the Christmas season, it has been one of those years when our family has had to fight to keep the magic in the holiday. From this, I have learned that the bleak moments in which we witness or experience untimely struggles can serve to bring us closer to God, and can actually accentuate the real meaning of why we observe a world-wide celebration each year.

I build much of my case from the account of Jesus’ inspired words in the New Testament:

“And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him:

And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying,

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”

The sermon on the mount serves as a blanket of comfort for those who are dealing with challenges at any season in life, but it has particular significance for those who are struggling at Christmastime. I am reminded of the Savior’s words to an ancient American prophet who was facing the extinction of his people because of their collective faith in God:

“And it came to pass that he (Nephi) went out and bowed himself down upon the earth, and cried mightily to his God in behalf of his people, yea, those who were about to be destroyed because of their faith in the tradition of their fathers.

And it came to pass that he cried mightily unto the Lord all that day; and behold, the voice of the Lord came unto him, saying:

Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfill all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.

In the face of likely annihilation and subsequent extinction, the Savior’s advice to Nephi was simple but profound:

“Lift up your head, and be of good cheer.” he said, “for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given,"

But what was the sign?

It was light.....a light shining in the darkness of a troubled world.

The shepherds in their fields saw it.

The wise men saw it.

Nephi saw it.

We, too can see it, if we are looking up.

Perhaps, at one time or another, we have all wasted away a portion of our holiday season chasing the creature comforts we are accustomed to enjoying. In vain, we might even shut ourselves up in the confines of the living room with our eyes focused on the Christmas tree lights, thinking that if we can somehow squint hard enough and hold our mouth just the right way, the magic will come.

But, as Boyd K. Packer once said, “You cannot force spiritual things.”

To everything there is a season.

There will be years when our cup runneth over. There will be times when we are filled with a sense of peace and happiness beyond anything we are capable of experiencing in the confines of our natural emotions.

We will know intimately what Lehi meant when he said:

“Man is that he might have joy.”

But there are other times when all we will be able to do is groan inside, lament our losses, and hang on for dear life.

Mary, the sister of Lazarus did exactly that:

“Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died.”

Jesus did not rebuke her for a lack of faith.

Instead, the scriptures tell us that He wept with her.

Then He performed a miracle.

And Lazarus lived again.

It was a taste of good things to come for all of us.

As we approach the eve of our Savior’s birth, I am grateful to feel His spirit attending our family....perhaps more so than usual.

Charles Dickens summed up the year in review for many of us:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”

While the worst of those times have somewhat subdued our desire for boisterous celebration this year, we nonetheless have reason to smile.

Just in the nick of time, our family abandoned the squinting-at-the-tree tradition and stepped out into the night for a breath of fresh air. As it always has at Christmastime, the special star shone bright and clear against the figurative backdrop of the black sky.

Somehow, that star seems to shine brightest when the night is at its darkest.

If you ask me, that's the real magic of the Christmas season.

For my friends who’s cup runneth over, I toast your good health and pray for another year of peace and prosperity.

For those who have suffered (and are continuing to suffer) this year, I repeat the words of the Master:

“Lift up your head and be of good cheer”

Step outside and try to look up.

If you listen carefully, the still, small voice will whisper words of peace to your heart this Christmas season:

“Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God?”

You know the rest of the story.

Lazarous came forth.

In one way or another, so shall we.

Merry Christmas, Facebook friends.

As you look into the night sky, may you hear the echo of a baby's cry and bask in the afterglow of a star that will shine forever as a beacon to the wounded, the weary, and the pure in heart....no squinting required.

The Shell Collector

The last Saturday in November is officially the day of recovery after Black Friday.

It is a day when sanity is restored and reason is reinstated after a twenty-four hour period of madness.

There are no sales. No deadlines. No hoopla.

Each year, our family drives six hours south to spend Thanksgiving at the beach with Katherine’s parents, and there is usually no question about what we will do with our extra time on lazy-days. We kick off our shoes, pack up the car, and head down to the ocean. Today, under the banner of a warm Indian summer sun, we made the short trek east across the inter-coastal waterway to greet the fall surf.

It was a good day for a walk.

Matthew, with his blue corduroys rolled up to his knees, ran uninhibited toward the receding tide with secret plans of hosting a one-man diving excursion while mom and dad weren’t looking. Kendall opted for quieter diversions, and split off to collect sea shells. After walking along the cool salt water with Katherine and Matthew for awhile, I decided to join Kendall on her search for the perfect conch.

“I don’t like collecting shells,” she mumbled as we walked along.

I was a little surprised by her statement, and asked her what had soured her on the prospect.

“I have to carry the cup,” she complained, glancing down at the plastic cup she was carrying as a temporary holding bin for her shells.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Earlier, Kendall had done her best to push the responsibility of tending to the cup off on me. After absorbing the "no" she surely knew was coming, she went to work on Katherine, and finally, having no success, tried to connive her unsuspecting younger brother into taking over her cup duty so that she could walk along the beach unhindered. Charity was sparser than usual, and despite her best efforts, she was stuck with the cup.

We continued to walk and look for shells.

After awhile, I looked into the plastic cup and noticed that Kendall had collected some halfway-decent looking specimens.

Mingling with the unblemished shells were a few broken-off, faded out fragments that I couldn’t quite figure out.

“What’s with the broken shells?” I asked. “You’re only supposed to collect the ones that are whole.”

Kendall looked at the shells in question, temporarily forgot her ire about having to carry the cup, and made a case for keeping the fragments.

“Well...they're still pretty,” she said.

I shrugged and continued to walk. Meanwhile, Matthew had found water pooling in a large, shallow crater in the sand. The sun warmed the 6 -inch deep water to a pleasant balminess, enticing Matthew to take the plunge and go for full-body immersion.

“You missed a spot,” I yelled, noticing a small area on his shirt that was untouched by the water and wet sand.

Matthew looked up and continued his splashing, blissfully unaware and completely unconcerned with his sopping wet clothes and diaper.

I shook my head at his antics.

“Ignorance is bliss,” I thought to myself as I reflected on his generally care-free attitude toward life.

Later, as we walked back toward the car, I was struck with the simple wisdom that both of my children had unknowingly contributed to our afternoon walk.

Kendall, who had spent the afternoon mingling broken shells with those that were whole, was convinced that all of them were beautiful regardless of their condition.

Her choice of keepsakes brought to mind a verse from the New Testament:

“They that are whole have no need of the physician,” Jesus said, “but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Jesus later reminded us that our heavenly Father is well-invested in the business of restoring things that are broken.

“I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.”

As Jeffery R. Holland once said, God seems to take special note of “broken things to mend"; especially those that have been left lying helpless and stranded on the beaches of His creation. To be sure, if the Savior had been walking with Kendall today, He would have smiled when He looked inside of her plastic cup.

“They’re still pretty,” she said simply.

Well said.

Matthew on the other hand, fell headlong into the ocean and then plowed like a bull through ankle-deep water before we could get our hands on him to stop him. Blissfully unaware of the rules of civility and how things “should be,” he didn’t quite understand why his antics led to our walk on the ocean being terminated.

Soaked and covered with sand, he was quite ready to continue the festivities for as long as he was able.

Kind of reminds me of our own relationship with a perfect, all-knowing God.

Despite our best efforts, our feeble claims to personal righteousness (at least while being impaired by pride and self-will) are compared to “filthy rags” when illuminated by the perfect holiness of a just God. More often than we probably think, we go blundering through life, soaked and sandy, with no inkling that we have fallen into deep water and need to be dried off.

Yet God is merciful to us in our fallen condition.

He does not demand perfection of us....at least not all at once.

C.S. Lewis said:

“ No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one’s temper and give it up.”

After watching Matthew’s quick recovery from his mischief and his willingness to walk toward the car with a cheerful attitude, I expect good things will yet come to him. He is young and will learn quickly enough about “how things are.”

For the time being, Katherine and I contented ourselves with changing Matthew’s bloated diaper, stripping off his soaked clothes, and thanking God for the extra dose of Indian summer.

As I pulled out of the parking lot and watched the Atlantic ocean fade in my rear-view mirror, I remembered an old story about a man who had an incredible encounter one night while walking on the ocean.

“One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, (and)
many scenes from my life flashed across the sky," begins the account.

If you’ve ever taken a walk on the beach and looked for a certain set of “Footprints”, the rest of that story will be as familiar as the salty ocean breeze.

If you've never heard of the legend, just go to any Christian bookstore and tell the clerk that you would like to know more about walking on the beach alone with the Lord.

They'll know exactly what you mean.

As for me, a good stroll along the ocean always seems to clear the air, no matter what's going on in the world. There is a familiarity in the hiss of the pounding surf that is timeless. I guess no matter how many people we invite to walk with us on the sands of our lives, there is always one more set of footprints left in the shifting dunes than we thought would be there. Coming off of a Black Friday that was tainted with reports of robbery, greed, and violence, I was grateful for a well-timed reminder that life is still pretty simple if we leave our footprints in the right place....with the right people.

Whether we are being carried along the shoreline in the depths of our weakness or are walking along at a steady pace of our own design, we will all eventually come to the knowledge that there is no beach so far or ocean so remote that our footprints will go unnoticed by Him who created them. And if we are listening to the still small voice that travels along the current of the ocean breeze, we will also come to realize that regardless of whether we are broken, whole, or in-between, we are all "still pretty" in the eyes of the Master shell collector.

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